Utopia found and lost
by Hendiadys
Summary: Post S7. Dawn and Spike find out that they share a common destiny.
1. 1

Title: Utopia found and lost 

Author: Hendiadys (hendiadys146@yahoo.com)

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: We don't own anything except a crappy computer and a weird fantasy

Characters: Dawn, Spike 

Spoilers: For all seasons; the story starts right at the end of Chosen

Summary: It's high time for Dawn to make her own decisions. But after escaping her familiar environment, she realizes that she has yet to find her identity. Living in an illusory Utopia, she makes new friends and unexpectedly meets an old one.

Feedback: Always appreciated! 

Special thanks: To our beta Hazmat 

Chapter 1

_What are we gonna do now?_ The question she had asked Buffy still reverberated in Dawn's head. 

She was in a daze; the happiness about their victory hadn't really reached her yet. Actually, she felt numb. Shouldn't she be celebrating? The others seemed happy enough; only Buffy was very silent. But the smile on her face was proof of the relief and joy she must have felt. Dawn's feelings were too ambivalent to really pull her in one direction. On the one hand, they had destroyed the First Evil and its army and saved the world once again, on the other hand…

Spike.

Anya.

Dawn couldn't quite believe they were gone. She tried to tell herself that she should be happy that her family, Buffy, Giles, Willow and Xander, were okay, but she nevertheless felt the loss of the vampire and the ex-demon heavily on her heart. The pain seemed still buried deeply inside her, lying under a surface of mingled feelings of happiness and relief. She willed herself not to think about that and neither of all the potentials who had been defeated by their enemies, having obtained their slayer strength so shortly before their deaths. 

When she looked around, she noticed that the others seemed to cope with the events only slightly better. Although Xander had reverted to his jovial self, joking about the Sunnydale Mall that was no more, Dawn could see the hidden grief in his eyes. She had overheard his short conversation with Andrew a few minutes ago. He had been proud when Andrew had told him that Anya had sacrificed herself to save his life, but he had looked unable to ask for more details about his ex-fiancée's death. Willow was clinging to Kennedy, surely grateful that she hadn't lost her lover. Giles seemed determined to talk about the new responsibilities they had to face now, fighting on the Hellmouth in Cleveland and finding and recruiting slayers from all over the world.

Looking at her sister, Dawn wondered what Buffy felt right now. She was well aware that Buffy knew that this victory was not the end of all evil. The last months had been a big challenge – perhaps the biggest they would ever have to face – but there was still another Hellmouth, there were also more monsters, vampires, demons… Wasn't it ever over? They all had lost so much, but there didn't seem to be a point really. The Vampire Slayer and her group of faithful helpers only delayed one apocalypse after the other; when one was prevented, the next was sure to threaten them and the world in the following year. Dawn forced herself to swallow these doubts and the resentment against their fate, but she knew that these feelings were justified. She didn't want to ponder them now, though.

What wasn't so easy to repress was the thought of Spike and Anya. Buffy had told them Spike had actually saved them all. How had he done it? She knew it was no use to start asking questions now, as they were all quiet and it seemed wrong to disturb the silence. 

When she looked around again, nobody seemed to notice her. All the remaining Scoobies and the other people who were lucky to have survived were now so self-absorbed that they didn't take notice of Dawn's retreat. She wasn't sure where to go, she merely followed the urge to be entirely alone. Away from all the terrible things that had happened in her short life, away from all the people who had hurt her- if not intentionally. It would be ridiculous to think that anybody had wished her to have that kind of life. Buffy surely wanted her sister to lead a normal life and to protect her, but it had been impossible to keep all the slayage, the vampire-love-affairs and apocalypses away from her. And now it was too late for that.****

At first she considered going back to the chasm to look for Anya or Spike. Maybe they _had _made it in the end? Maybe they were too weak to get up and show themselves and say "Hey guys, we're still alive!" - Okay, in Spike's case still undead - "Everything is gonna be all right again!" But it was foolish to believe that and she couldn't live in denial anymore. Spike would go up in flames in the sunlight anyway and if she had heard correctly what Andrew had told Giles, Anya was slashed in two pieces. Dawn shuddered at the image.

Checking her purse, she found she still had twenty dollars; that would do to get a bus ticket and go somewhere. Whereto exactly didn't matter, she just wanted to get away. But the problem was to find a bus station. Three quarters of Sunnydale consisted now of a huge hole, and they weren't many people left, either. They had all fled. Something she was tempted to do, too. But she hadn't let Xander drive her away, not like Buffy wanted.

Dawn didn't want to be useless. She definitely was not a potential slayer, but she had felt the duty to help them stop the apocalypse and not to stay away like a coward.

And now? How could she help them now? Even if she regretted immediately what she had just thought, she was positive that she was as ineffective as Xander. He as well had no special powers like Willow or wisdom like Giles. He had a good heart, but what good was that to fight the forces of evil? How many times had Buffy have to rescue him and Dawn just because they had been inattentive and stupid? 

Determination ended the flow of these rhetorical questions and Dawn slowly detached herself from the group. The urge to get away was so strong that she didn't wonder how on earth she was going to find a bus station nearby. Neither did she give thought to the fact that Buffy could easily outrun her as soon as she noticed that Dawn was missing.

But her attempt to sneak away proved to be in vain anyway because Buffy chose that moment to come back to herself and address the others.

"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to find the nearest motel and get a good night's sleep. Or three," Buffy said grinning.

Dawn couldn't quite believe her ears. Of course, they were all weary to the bone and deserved to finally rest, but couldn't they just take a few more moments to think about those they had lost? And, Dawn thought spitefully, how was she going to get away unnoticed now?

She decided that her plan to leave the group had to wait. There would be time to sneak away at a later time, as she was ignored a lot anyway.

Meanwhile, they others had started an argument on where to head now. Most of them agreed that L.A. was the nearest and cheapest place to stay for a while, since Angel would surely welcome them warmly at the Hyperion. But Buffy didn't seem to like the idea, for whatever reasons, Dawn could only guess. She had thought, along with the rest of the Scoobies, that Buffy and Angel had stopped being awkward around one another after all this time. 

"You see, it's not that I mind staying at Angel's place for a while. I just think this is an opportunity for us to go elsewhere for a while. I mean, we could just take a break before we have to go to Cleveland," Buffy exclaimed in a whiny tone. "A vacation in… well, somewhere that's not L.A." 

"Alright, B., I don't give a damn about your problems choosing a motel or whatever that's as far away from your ex-honey as possible, just because you can't work out your boyfriend-issues. What I _do_ care about is getting to a hospital. Robin needs medical care. Now." When Buffy started to protest, Faith cut her off. "What is wrong with you? You want more casualties? Is that it?"

"Faith is right, Buffy. It's no use standing here and arguing anyway. As soon as everybody is taken care of, we can still decide where to go," Xander said, his eyes pleading with Buffy to agree. Dawn was sure that he just couldn't bear to stay at the place where Anya had died any longer. 

She wondered what was going on with Buffy. Was she losing her mind over the loss of Spike? Dawn knew that her sister had had deep feelings for him, whatever she might say. 

Finally, Buffy agreed. She looked a bit embarrassed about not thinking of the pain Robin must have been in. So they all made their way back to the schoolbus. 

~*~

According to the doctor, Robin and the remaining potentials had no serious injuries and they didn't have to stay in the hospital. Dawn noticed the look of relief on Faith's face and wondered what was going on between them. She never would have guessed that Faith would ever care about anybody else like that, but she pushed the thought away. No time for speculations.

"So, we do have to consider what we're gonna do now". Dawn spoke for the first time and everybody turned around, which made her a little uncomfortable. "I mean, are we heading for Angel's?" She was already dreading Buffy's reaction.

Her sister seemed to be lost in thought, as she snapped out of her reverie. "Yes, I guess that'd be the best solution for the next time", she said flatly. "Any objections?" They all shook their heads. "Ok, let's go, guys!" Commando!Buffy was back again, but it felt somehow good to have a leader. It just felt normal. But actually nothing would be the same again.

When Giles was driving the schoolbus, Dawn took a seat next to Buffy after some time. "Are you all right?" Dawn asked, looking concerned. Buffy hadn't spoken a single word since they had started their journey to L.A. "Well, I'm not thrilled by the idea of going to see Angel, either, but…" She didn't know how to finish.

"No, that's okay. It's just… there's so much to do, finding all the other slayers, training them and such things. And Spike, oh my God Spike!" Dawn saw Buffy fighting back her tears and she reached out to embrace her tightly.

"Shhh, don't you remember? He always wanted to go down in a fight and he sacrificed himself to save the whole world! He had the best ending he could have wished for!" Dawn said, trying to console her beloved sister.

"I told him! I told him and he didn't believe me!" Buffy said in between sobs. 

"You told him what?" Dawn inquired. But as she looked into those big green eyes, she knew what she was talking about. "Oh … Buffy, I'm sure he was aware of the feelings you had for him."

"Then why did he…? Oh God, I'm such a fool!" Releasing Dawn, Buffy sat back in her seat and slowly calmed down. 

Dawn stared at the passing landscape, all that had not been destroyed looked almost peaceful. Surely, they would soon arrive and she still had not found a solution how to get away. Right now, Buffy seemed to need her and it felt horribly wrong to leave her. On the other hand, her sister could deal with her problems quite well. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about anything.

Tbc


	2. 2

Title: Utopia found and lost 

Author: Hendiadys (hendiadys146@yahoo.com)

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: We don't own anything except a crappy computer and a weird fantasy

Characters: Dawn, Spike 

Spoilers: For all seasons; the story starts right at the end of Chosen

Summary: It's high time for Dawn to make her own decisions. But after escaping her familiar environment, she realizes that she has yet to find her identity. Living in an illusory Utopia, she makes new friends and unexpectedly meets an old one.

Feedback: Always appreciated! 

Special thanks: To our beta Hazmat 

Chapter 2

A chance to finally go her own way presented itself to Dawn when the bus suddenly broke down. The engine couldn't be started again after they had stopped for a short break when some of the girls had to pee. Nervousness and irritation were heavy in the air; the need to finally lay down in a soft bed after the whole ordeal became overwhelming for all of them. Unfortunately, none of them had the technical abilities to find the problem in the engine. Robin offered to look under the hood, but was prevented from doing so because Faith claimed he was still too weak to stand up on his own, let alone repair a school bus engine. 

The place where they had stopped consisted of only a very small shop and some public toilets. While Giles, Xander and Buffy discussed what to do next, the rest of them went into the shop to buy "stuff that helped to pass the time", as they claimed. Dawn strongly hoped they were just referring to candy.

She didn't join them, but hid behind the bus. Buffy, unheeding of Dawn's presence, cursed colourfully.

"Buffy, please, there is no need to resort to such language," Giles admonished. "We survived another apocalypse, we will also survive this little transportation problem."

"I know you're right. But is it too much to ask for just a little bit of luck once in a while? I mean, after all we've done for humanity, we deserve some reward, right? And I'm not even thinking of an enormous amount of money or some flowers and a nice card saying 'Thanks for saving all our lives again. Signed, your 6 billion admirers.' I was just hoping that we could get to L.A. – and I didn't even want to go there in the first place – without a problem." Dawn heard Buffy sigh in a pained manner. For someone who had endured so much in her young life, her sister really was kind of whiny, Dawn thought.

"Why don't you just go and buy yourself something nice to eat to distract you?" Xander tried to soothe Buffy's temper. "Giles and I, we will call Angel and ask him to send some of his co-workers to help us." 

Buffy made a face, but handed Giles her cellphone. Then she turned and headed towards the shop. 

While Giles talked to Angel, Dawn sat quietly on the ground, resting her head against the side of the bus. She was aware that this might be her only opportunity to escape from the rest unnoticed. But she was also afraid. In spite of everything that had happened in her short life, she still felt very young, never having spent much time without her family or friends. Still, she had to do it.

_I don't want to be a part of this anymore_, she thought. _I feel like I never really achieved anything on my own; I only ever played a small, unimportant role in a big drama where Buffy was the main character. I don't know how Xander can stand this, but I won't play that role anymore. I have to find myself somehow. When I have found out who I really am I can still come back to Buffy and the others._

Silent tears were running down her cheeks and formed small dark dots on the ground where they fell. Then, determination began to flood her and she stood up. _These tears will be the last I will have cried for a while_, she told herself. _I won't let emotions stand in my way._

Dawn felt like she could finally think clearly now. She remembered a spellbook Willow had taken with her on the bus. And Dawn dimly recalled one particular spell which would help her to get away. She knew that she had to hurry; Angel's co-workers would be here shortly. Quietly, she made her way back into the bus.

After rummaging a short while in Willow's duffel-bag, she found what she was looking for: a big volume with a slightly dented leather cover and very old-looking pages, some of which were dog-eared. Merely by touching it, Dawn felt the ancient magic that engulfed the book and once again she felt her insecurity. _No, I will do this, I just have to._

She stuffed the book into her bag and headed out of the bus.

"Hey Dawnie, everything all right? You look kinda pale!" Willow's unexpected voice made her jump.

"What? Oh, I, I just wanted to, er, get my money-bag. Maybe I find something useful in the shop there to get through this boredom," Dawn stammered.

"But don't take too long, Angel's co-workers will be here very soon," Willow replied with a smile. Despite all the apprehension Dawn felt, it was good to see Willow smile again. It would have broken her entirely if she lost Kennedy, too, but she had been one of the lucky ones. Not like Spike. Or Anya.

"No, I'll hurry," Dawn said and went past her friend into the direction of the shop. 

When she turned around, Willow seemed to be in deep conversation, or rather in a flirt with Kennedy and she breathed out with relief. Almost busted!

Dawn turned left and headed into the nearby small wood. Checking nobody had seen her go away, she sat down and leaned her upper body against a trunk that would block everyone's view of her. Slowly she reached inside her bag and retrieved the stolen book.

It felt heavy in her hands with a certain kind of foreboding.

She opened it with trembling hands and saw several texts and spells in different and probably very old languages. _How am I supposed to read this?_ She asked herself with despair. But then, she discovered some spells in Latin and felt suddenly very glad that Willow had taught her a little of this dead tongue, even though she had resented the lessons.

One specific spell caught her eyes. It was entitled with "Evanescere". _That must be it!_  she thought with joy. She straightened her spine and inhaled deeply several times, concentrating hard. Glancing down into the book again, she began reading out loud.

_"Omnis me circumdat_

_ Omnis me devorat_

_Nihil maneat quomodo fuit_

_Praesentia commutabit_

 Et ars magica me apportabit 

_ A loco altere_

_ Et future mutabit!"_

Closing her eyes, she felt the effects of the charm more and more and as she opened her eyes again, she caught one last look of her beloved sister who stared suspiciously in her direction as everything around her dissolved into nothing. 

Tbc


	3. 3

Title: Utopia found and lost 

Author: Hendiadys (hendiadys146@yahoo.com)

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: We don't own anything except a crappy computer and a weird fantasy

Characters: Dawn, Spike 

Spoilers: For all seasons; the story starts right at the end of Chosen

Summary: It's high time for Dawn to make her own decisions. But after escaping her familiar environment, she realizes that she has yet to find her identity. Living in an illusory Utopia, she makes new friends and unexpectedly meets an old one.

Feedback: Always appreciated! 

Special thanks: To our beta Hazmat

Chapter 3

Ken walked quietly along the riverside. It was a beautiful day and the afternoon sun made him feel warm and content. He thought about the meeting of the Town Council a few hours ago, and smiled. The outcome had been very satisfying for him and his kind. There had been a few minor quarrels, but the meeting had, all in all, been quite peaceful. Disagreements couldn't really be prevented, he thought. After all, 20 different "ethnic groups", as he called them, lived in this community. But the decision to let 10 new creatures join them had been finally made, after several weeks of discussing.

_I rather like the Magnicordelis_, Ken mused. _They seem really friendly and they possess a lot of skills which could be of use to all of us. They seem to soothe everyone they talk to, and I felt absolutely at peace for a few moments when one of them addressed me_.

The members of the Council had decided that the Magnicordelis could indeed be of help, working in spiritual welfare or the like. Although the people there seemed to be generally happy, sometimes an inexplicable sadness fell over them. This melancholy was so profound that they neglected their work and chose to withdraw completely from social life, preferring to be alone till the fit passed.

Fortunately, this happened at regular intervals and at different times for everyone, so that not all of them stayed away from work at the same time. And with the Magnicordelis to console or just listen to them, people might cope with their melancholy better.

Busy with his thoughts, Ken hadn't even realized that he had reached the bridge across the small river. He just wanted to cross it to head home after his short walk, when he heard a distinct *****plop* somewhere at his feet. Curiously, he walked down the slope of the river bank and cast a look around him. And froze.

He had to avert his eyes from what he saw. One reason was the blinding greenish light that emanated from something under the bridge. The other reason was that it wasn't some_thing_, but very clearly a person. A _naked_ person. 

_Oh my_, Ken thought, blushing. Later he would wonder why he didn't mind seeing all kinds of different creatures every day, but seemed shell-shocked by the sight of a single naked human girl.

_Well, I will have to look in her direction anyway if I want to know what's going on_, he scolded himself mentally. Holding his hand partially before his eyes to shield them from the green glow, he approached the lying form on the ground slowly.

"Hello? Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you. And I'm not some kind of peeping tom, if you're thinking that," Ken stammered when he came nearer. "I'm not a pervert, either, I'm rather a shy kind of guy. Okay, I had this one girlfriend some time ago, but that didn't go so well and you can tell by my babbling that I'm really nervous…"

But the girl didn't move. When Ken came nearer, he saw that she lay on her belly, her long dark hair covering almost all of her back. She seemed to be soundly asleep. He took off his coat and after wrapping it around her, picked her up gently into his arms. Thinking it would be the best solution, he carried her home.****

~*~

When she opened her eyes, her vision was blurred and it took a short while until everything around came into focus. When she turned her head, she saw a small window, a desk and a wardrobe. Everything seemed to be made of dark wood. And, sitting at the end of the comfortable bed she was lying in, sat a young man, about twenty years old. 

The sight of him made her jump. "What? Who, who are you? And where am I?" Dawn asked, panicked.

The man didn't move. "Shhh, it's all right, you're perfectly safe. I won't harm you, I promise!" he tried to calm her down. "My name is Ken, and right now you're in my hut in Pacantia. Who are _you_? And why were you naked?"

Dawn glanced with a shocked face down her body, which was now clad in cotton pyjamas, and didn't know what to say. She tried to recall her own name with all her strength, but it was no good. "I don't remember, and I don't remember why I'm here, actually I don't remember anything! What's going on here?"

"Go ahead, drink some water!" He held out a glass to her, which she emptied in a few gulps. "I'm sure, we'll find everything out, just try to calm down, okay?" 

Dawn looked at him again and for the first time really saw how handsome he was. He had dark curly hair, cat-green eyes and prominent cheekbones that were strangely familiar.

_Maybe I should get a Magnicordelis__for this matter!_ he thought, watching her closely. Even though he had known her for such a short while, he felt immense sympathy for this pretty girl who seemed to be so helpless. "Are you hungry? I could make you some tapioca and tea, or something else?!"

"No, thank you. But maybe you could show me a way how to get away from this place." She had a pleading tone in her voice. 

"But where do you want to go?" he wanted to know. "Do you remember where you've been before?"

Dawn didn't reply. Obviously she had not considered this problem and he desperately tried to think of a way to cheer her up somehow. 

"Okay, well, what about showing you our little town? Maybe you even like it here!" he said and hoped inwardly that she would say yes.

"I don't seem to have a choice, do I?" she said sadly. 

Ken looked down. "But I need some new clothes, or do all the women here wear these pyjamas?" That made him smile and as new hope flooded him, he held out a hand to her and helped the young girl out of the bed.****

„Sure, I'll get you something more appropriate to put on. After all, we don't want you to be too conspicuous, do we?"

When they were at last walking down the street leading into what Ken had told her was the town centre, Dawn had a closer look at the people that were passing them by.

"You thought _I_ would be too conspicuous in my pyjamas? Have you seen the creatures strolling around here in broad daylight? Those are _demons_!" Dawn was shocked beyond measure and also a little frightened when they passed a particular nasty looking creature which was about twice their size and sported a row of pointy horns on its bald head.

Now it was Ken' turn to look shocked. "Shush! Are you out of your mind?"

"Actually, considering I seem to have lost my memory, I'd answer this question with a hearty yes," Dawn replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You can't go around insulting people!" Ken's face was turning quite red with indignity. He was looking around carefully to see if they had been overheard.

"What do you mean, people? I told you, they're de--"

But Ken interrupted her this time. He tried to keep his voice low, but managed to sound outraged all the same. "For god's sake, be quiet! I know they're demons. It's just, we prefer not to call the citizens of this town according to their ethnic group…"

"Ethnic group? What are you on about?"

Ken sighed. There seemed to be many things to explain to the girl. "We just try to be politically correct. You see, there are about 20 different races in this town, living together peacefully. That doesn't mean there are no conflicts. People from so many different origins are bound to argue at one point or another. But for our community to function, everybody has to behave according to certain rules. There are laws to prevent people from discriminating against others. The term 'demon' is considered an insult and the fees for uttering it are quite high."

Dawn couldn't hide the astonishment she felt. She couldn't think of anything clever to say to these new facts. So she remained silent, trying to process everything she had just heard.

Seeing the expression on her face, Ken decided to just let her be for a few moments. He had no idea why this information had been such a shock for her, as it was part of the world he had been living in for 19 years now. He couldn't even imagine any other way than to exist among all those different people, who made his every day life so very interesting. 

They kept walking down the street in silence, Dawn still lost in thought. The boy took this opportunity to look at her a little more closely. _She's beautiful_, he thought. Indeed, Dawn's cheeks were rosy now from their stroll, her big blue eyes all the more prominent in her pretty face. Her shiny hair was blowing about in the soft breeze. The clothes Ken had given her were the traditional clothing for humans in Pacantia, consisting of a pair of light trousers and a kimono. The silky fabric was shining in the weak evening sun. He had chosen the clothes in a light green with silver flowers on it_. I couldn't imagine any other colour suiting her as perfectly as green does_, he mused.

The pair had now reached the centre, which was actually just a huge square surrounded by trees and some benches. In the mornings, the square served as a market-place, but now it was almost deserted. 

When they passed one of the benches, Ken decided to restart the conversation. "Would you like to sit down, --?" And he remembered he didn't even know her name and neither did she. "You really can't remember your name, can you? Well, nevertheless it'd be nice to know how to call you. You could choose a name for yourself."

Interrupted in her thoughts, Dawn looked at him. In her bewildered gaze Ken could see something for a short moment – something like recognition. Had some part of her memory come back?

Dawn had a strong sense of deja-vu. In the depths of her mind something told her she had heard Ken' last sentence once before. Directed by her intuition, her hand went right at her throat, searching for something hanging there. But she didn't wear any jewellery at the moment.

Then a word flickered in her mind for one small second.

_Nwad. ****_

_Oh wait a moment, is that supposed to be a name? I really must be going insane. _

But that strange word was quickly followed by another, not nearly as weird sounding a word. She gave Ken her most glowing smile – making him blush furiously – and said, in a very determined voice: "I know what my new name will be. I will call myself Joan."

Tbc


	4. 4

Title: Utopia found and lost 

Author: Hendiadys (hendiadys146@yahoo.com)

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: We don't own anything except a crappy computer and a weird fantasy

Characters: Dawn, Spike 

Spoilers: For all seasons; the story starts right at the end of Chosen

Summary: It's high time for Dawn to make her own decisions. But after escaping her familiar environment, she realizes that she has yet to find her identity. Living in an illusory Utopia, she makes new friends and unexpectedly meets an old one.

Feedback: Always appreciated! 

Special thanks: To our beta Hazmat 

Chapter 4

He wandered lonely through the forest, pondering the words of the oracle for the umpteenth time since he has had been sent here. Where he actually was, he did not know.

But the one thing Spike was sure of was that he wasn't in Sunnydale anymore. The two siblings hadn't told him exactly why he was there and what he was supposed to do.

Their words echoed in his head again, and Spike couldn't block them out.

_You are given another life, demon, for you have sacrificed yourself to save the whole world and you will be greatly rewarded as was foretold._

He remembered himself say, in a shocked and bewildered voice, _And what would that bloody be?_ He glared at their strange, colourful, expressionless faces. He was genuinely grateful that they had mended all his injuries, but he resented their useless answers, always containing riddles.****

_A life you have once lead, demon, a life you have once given away to become what you have been for more than hundred years and what you are now. A life where you will finally find your counterpart. This we will alter._

The last thing he had seen was the brother, reaching out his hand. Then a flash of white light had hit him and Spike had fallen into unconsciousness to wake up in the place he was at right now.****

_Well, they had been right_. Something _had really been altered_, he thought, coming back to reality and looking into the sun, whose weak light immersed everything around him into a beautiful gold. His whole body felt different. It was exhausting just to walk through the forest and he was aware of the weird rumbling in his stomach. Hunger.

_Great. No animals or people (not that he would) here to bite, but- hang on a sec, I don't have to! One little side effect of being human again! _Spike didn't know whether to be glad that he was not a vampire anymore or not. Of course, he hadn't planned to use Angel's talisman to wipe away all the nasties- including him- from the Hellmouth, but at that moment, it had felt the right thing to do, even the only thing to do to save the potentials, Giles, the whelp Xander, Dawn, and…Buffy. Spikes stomach twisted even more at the thought of her. He idly wondered if he would ever see her again.

_Not if I don't find out where I am_, he brooded.****

He had been walking for hours now and he made up his mind to take a break. Sitting on a huge flat stone, he stretched out his jaded legs and tried to think about nothing at all.

But as soon as he had closed his eyes, images of Buffy and the other Scoobies were printed against his eyelids and immense grief flooded him, not letting him rest.

Defeated, he stood up again, and marched on in search of food to fill his empty stomach and distract himself from these endless and pointless thoughts.

Was this his generous reward? To live again, but to be tantalized by his memories?

~*~

Meanwhile, Dawn would have preferred being tantalized by memories to the state she felt trapped in. This feeling of blankness, of non-identity, was more than she thought she could handle. The tiny flicker of a memory she had experienced earlier was only a small comfort. She was sure Joan was not her real name, but somehow it had seemed the right choice to take it. 

But in spite of her troubled thoughts, she tried hard to uphold the façade of a – relatively- normal and cheerful girl, for Ken' sake. He was in a very good mood, showing her the small town and explaining some of its history. Dawn was genuinely fascinated by the idea that different kinds of demons and humans could manage to live in a community quite peacefully.

"So, Joan," Ken began hesitantly when they had almost finished their little tour, "why don't you tell me how you know what demons are?"

That thought hadn't occurred to Dawn yet. When she pondered it now, it seemed that a knowledge that was deeply embedded in her subconscious – too deeply to be explored yet – had forced her to vocalize her apprehension when she had seen a demon earlier. It had felt like an instinct that told her: nasty and inhuman looking creature equals demon, and demon equals dangerous. 

She was aware that her answer would be far from satisfying for her companion. She had to reply, anyway.

"Well, I can't really explain it," she told him, her voice insecure. "I just _knew_ it."

Ken hadn't expected her to know. But there were just so many things he didn't get, so many things he hadn't even asked Joan yet. _I have to give her time_, he thought, _she just went through quite an ordeal and is still recuperating from all of it._

But Dawn didn't seem to agree. Now that the conversation had moved from the idle facts about Pacantia to the more interesting and relevant facts of her appearing here out of nowhere, she discovered that she had some questions, too.

"You said earlier that Pacantia is unique in its history – does that mean that it's the only town where people live in such a … ahem… _interesting_ constellation?"

Oh dear, Ken sighed inwardly. Maybe she has recuperated already. "That's right," he replied cautiously.

Dawn seemed to be thinking about this new fact thoroughly, her face contorting with the effort. "Hm. So do people outside this town know about the existence of demons?" She whispered the word 'demon' to prevent Ken from giving her a lecture about morals again. Her companion noticed this and looked pleased. 

The nature of her question didn't really please him, though. He hummed and hawed, but finally answered: "No, they don't…"

"Ok. Let me get this straight. Other people don't even know that there are creatures dwelling on earth that are clearly classified as non-human. Still, there's Pacantia with its 20 different kinds of demons, undisturbed from the rest of the world. So, either the other people are all very much in denial or I'm still suffering a jetlag from wherever it was I came from and I JUST DON'T GET IT!" Dawn yelled, her hands balled into fists. She was furious and Ken' uncooperative answers didn't help.

He tried to soothe her, without much success. Frankly, he was just a little bit afraid of her temper. Nevertheless he put his hands on her shoulders in a calming manner.

"Alright, Joan, please don't get mad at me. I just thought I'd wait a while before I tell you everything. You seemed so fragile at the beginning…"

That had been the wrong thing to say. "Listen, buddy, I don't know who I am, but I'm quite sure that I am _not_ fragile. Please," she added pleadingly, "just tell me what the heck is going on here. I don't think I can figure out what happened to me if I don't even know the facts."

Finally, he gave in. He lead Dawn into an almost deserted café. In the far corner of the room, she saw a pair of small demons – they reminded Dawn of Gremlins – talking animatedly and drinking something that looked like ordinary coffee. They hadn't even noticed the newcomers. 

Ken motioned her to sit down and took the seat opposite of her. Then he began to explain.

~*~

It was almost dark now and Spike knew that he had to find a place to rest. Otherwise he would have to spend the night freezing and shivering, reacting more sensitive to coldness now. _One more damn side- effect of my current state_, he complained inwardly.

Suddenly he heard the rustling of leaves and footsteps of several creatures he couldn't quite define, when he strained his eyes to see them, and hid out of instinct behind some bushes, whose thorns stung him at some very unpleasant places on his body. "Ow, bloody hell!" he cursed and regretted instantly what he had just said. 

The creatures stopped abruptly and then they were beginning to move into his general direction.

Spike held his breath.

He was relieved, though, that they obviously carried no weapons, but the tall demon with all his horns and scales that covered his entire body standing on the left, looked kind of mean. It wouldn't need any weapons if it was willing to rip him apart. Spike shuddered at that image. There were two men as well, next to a second demon that he recognized without much effort as a Vrokut-demon. Not very belligerent, but he didn't want to find out what would happen if he teased it too long. 

They were standing right in front of the bushes now, glancing down at the crouching form that was Spike. Slowly and very cautiously he got up. Although this small group looked rather curious – in case a demon can look curious -  than dangerous, he felt something he hadn't felt for a very long time.

Fear.

He didn't dare move. What were humans and demons doing together at that time anyway?

"Smells human," the scaly demon said matter-of-factly. The other two men nodded. 

Then one of them asked, not unfriendly, "Who are you? And why are you hiding behind the bushes?" Spike glared at him as if he'd lost his mind. _Well, you know the deal. Being human again, not knowing where I am or why I'm here, trying to find my counterpart, whatever that means, and of course I have nothing better to do than wander carelessly through this lovely forest with its bushes and its bloody thorns and thinking about my grandmother's impeccable blueberry cake. No thought about being killed, not at any rate_, he wanted to say, but thought better of it. Maybe these folks didn't know sarcasm. Slowly his tension went away, but he didn't really know what to say, either.

"Er… , my name is William and I…I didn't know what your intentions were, so I just hid. I'm sorry if I somehow violated your customs, but…" he stuttered. "I better shut my mouth."

The others looked quizzically at each other. "I think we should take him to Pacantia, that's the nearest town here. Perhaps he needs medical aid!" one man said.

"Please, follow us!" Despite himself, Spike complied.

When he tried to stand up, the Vrokut reached down as if to help him. Startled, Spike winced, but took the hand the demon offered him. The Vrokut noticed Spike's apprehension and smiled encouragingly, showing a row of pointed teeth.

"There, there," he said soothingly, "no need to be afraid. If I had wanted to do you harm, you'd be dead by now, I assure you." 

_That was not very reassuring_, Spike thought and tried hard to look relaxed. _Get a grip, mate_. He marvelled at the fact that a few hours ago, he had been a demon himself and he would have torn everybody to pieces who dared speak to him as if he were a little child. But under the new conditions life had confronted him with it was surely better to be reasonable and to think before he acted, not the other way round. 

Nevertheless, he let go of the demon's hand, which was covered with snake-like skin, as soon as he was up. The others looked at him expectantly and he felt compelled to say something. 

"Well, alright, let's go then. You said you wanted to go to a town nearby, I think I'll just accompany you."

So they started walking. Especially the two men kept casting curious looks at Spike. Finally, one of them, a bald man with a slightly wrinkled face, addressed him, "So, what have you been doing here, William? It's rare to find humans alone in the wilderness. Where are you from? Have you ever heard of Pacantia?"

Spike was rather irritated by the man's questioning. _He's got some nerves_, he thought, _he isn't the one who was lost in this jungle. A more polite person would have let me ask my questions first_. Then he added mentally: _Wait a moment, since when do I worry about politeness? There's something seriously wrong with me._

But the man had already caught the annoyed expression on Spike's face and looked apologetic and also a little embarrassed. "Oh dear, where are my manners? I'm sorry … My name is Archie and the other man is my younger brother Kevin. This is Sammy," he said, pointing at the Vrokut. "And our big friend here is Richard." That turned out to be the scaly demon's name. 

"Nice to meet you all," Spike said, as he didn't know what else to say. The other three companions smiled and nodded slightly. 

"I'm sure there are many things you want to ask, William. But what do you say if we just postpone this whole questioning until later? You look starved and weary. As soon as you've eaten and rested, you will learn everything that you wish to know. And I hope you'll tell us your story, too. Alright?" Archie asked, this time very politely.

"Yeah. Thanks," Spike replied gratefully. His stomach was rumbling louder than ever and tried not to think of his beloved spicy Buffalo wings. Briefly, his favourite meal – sharing number one with the flowery onions, of course – reminded him of a certain blond girl sitting with him at a table at the Bronze while he was eating said wings. But he managed to push this picture along with all the other memories of his unlife in Sunnydale to the back of his mind. He knew he couldn't escape his past and although there weren't only good memories attached to it, a part of him didn't want to escape it. However, this was not the time to get nostalgic. 

They walked the rest of the way to Pacantia in companionable silence.

Tbc


	5. 5

Title: Utopia found and lost 

Author: Hendiadys (hendiadys146@yahoo.com)

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: We don't own anything except a crappy computer and a weird fantasy

Characters: Dawn, Spike 

Spoilers: For all seasons; the story starts right at the end of Chosen

Summary: It's high time for Dawn to make her own decisions. But after escaping her familiar environment, she realizes that she has yet to find her identity. Living in an illusory Utopia, she makes new friends and unexpectedly meets an old one.

Feedback: Always appreciated! 

Special thanks: To our beta Hazmat 

Chapter 5

"It all started one hundred years ago, when all the towns and larger cities were in what seemed then in an endless and brutal war. It was not only a war between humans and demons, but one could get the impression that it was a war of all against all." Dawn dimly recalled having heard this before, but couldn't place when and in what situation. 

Ken continued: "Chaos ruled all places and nobody seemed to be able or willing to put a stop to the destruction and death. Not until he came. Nobody knew where he came from and what his exact intentions were, but after a short time, it all ceased. Carnage and havoc subsided, people and demons seemed to lead their lives in peace again. But the most peculiar thing was that they never really wondered why this all happened, the change I mean. They seemed to have forgotten."

Dawn frowned. "Then how come you know about this? I can't honestly imagine that you lived all through this. Oh, wait! Time works differently than in….," she hesitated. "Than in the place where I came from, right?" she finished excitedly.

With an amused expression he shook his head. "No, that's not it. I really wasn't born at these times." He looked slightly nervous around to check whether someone was listening and lowered his voice, leaning a little closer to Dawn. "I inherited the place where I'm living now. One day, I got a message saying that my mother had died unexpectedly. I freaked. You see, I'm usually a very calm and laid-back person; I don't tend to get aggressive. But now I was alone. I had already lost my sister and father a few years earlier. Now the person I loved more than anything in the world had been taken from me, too." His eyes were blank, all the friendliness they had held before gone.

Dawn wanted to say something to comfort him, but she couldn't think of anything appropriate. Just when she was about to lay her hand on his shoulder in a soothing gesture, he spoke again. "Anyway, I was really angry that day. In my sadness and desperation I smashed some of the furniture and bookcases. Suddenly I saw a book that I had never seen before, lying in the rubble. It was a plain book, actually, with a black leather cover and no title imprinted on it.

"When I picked it up and opened it, I could read everything I've just told you. It was just like someone had been there at the change and decided to write all events down into this book. This anonymous writer seemed to have been spared from the collective oblivion and wanted other people to know what happened. But I'm positive nobody else got to see the book, and it must have been kept secret by someone. I don't know if my parents were aware that it was there or if they hid it from me. It doesn't matter, actually."

"Where there many details in the book? Like who was 'he' who changed the situation?" Dawn queried. 

"It was quite a long time since I last read it and I don't really remember. After reading it for the first time, I was afraid someone might see it. Therefore I locked the book away and tried to forget all the information I got. Didn't really work, of course, but it's still there where I placed it. I can't promise you anything, but maybe we do find something that might explain why you're here or how you've gotten to Pacantia."

Hope flooded the young girl and for the first time since she had arrived she felt joy.

As opposed to Ken who wasn't really sure that consulting the ancient book made sense - it was still a history book and even if they found the reason why Dawn was here, Ken didn't have the means to change the situation. He was no sorcerer or shaman.

"Can we go now? I don't mean to rush you, but I can't help wanting to read that book right now!" Ken snapped out of his reverie and was a little startled by her sudden outburst.

Exasperated, he looked around, but nobody in the small cafe seemed to care what Dawn was talking about.

"Be quiet! Or do you want the others here to know what is in my possession?" he said in a surprisingly calm voice, not daring to draw further attention to them.

Dawn looked taken aback, but remained silent.

"Let's head home then."

~*~

"You can wait here, Joan. I have to go down to the basement, it must still be there," Ken said, descending the stairs that lead to the basement.

Dawn only nodded. She really hadn't intended to annoy him, but if there was any chance that she could get some answers about what was going on, she had to take it. He didn't know what it felt like not to be aware of who he was, did he? He had a home, friends, probably a job and other ordinary things she didn't even recall ever having. She took a sip of the water he had provided and examined the glass thoughtfully. Suddenly she noticed how weary she was and merely closed her eyes for a short moment. But it was enough for her to fall asleep at the table.

_Give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now, _the blonde young woman said_, you have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave, live…_

Dawn woke with a start when she heard approaching footsteps and Ken's voice: "Joan, I've got it!" She was utterly confused and didn't know what to say.

Seeing Dawn's startled expression, Ken put the book carefully on the table and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Joan, what's going on?" he asked softly. Then he rubbed his eyes wearily, as a sign of his growing frustration with himself. "Oh my God, I can really be insensitive sometimes. All this new information must be really exhausting for you. And it's getting rather late, perhaps you should…"

But Dawn interrupted him. "No, it's not your fault. And no, I don't want to sleep yet. I'm tired, but I don't think I could sleep now even if I tried." She gave him a wan smile, meant to reassure him. 

"Ok, but – and don't get mad again – I'm quite sure I just caught you taking a nap at the table… You really should get some rest; tomorrow we still have plenty of…" But Dawn interrupted him yet again.

"I'm so scared." Her voice was only a whisper and Ken had to lean a little towards her to catch the words. She went on, "When I just fell asleep, I heard someone… a girl. She told me something."

"Well, that's interesting. As a matter of fact, as we don't know anything about your skills or power, this could be very useful information! I mean, you could be a seer or something!" Ken said excitedly. 

"No. You see, it _felt_ like a memory."

"Do you recall what the girl said?" he asked curiously.

"No," Dawn lied. "Perhaps it will come back later." 

Ken didn't seem very satisfied with her answer, but merely shrugged and sat down next to her. Together, they carefully opened the dusty book. After turning the first few pages, they stared at each other in astonishment.

"There's nothing in it! Maybe you got the wrong book?" Dawn was exasperated.

"No, I'm quite sure this is the one. And it also looks exactly like when I read it for the first time – well, except for the lack of content, of course." Ken fell silent and his expression was thoughtful. Suddenly, he stood up and headed for the kitchen door and switched off the light.

Dawn gave a small cry of surprise. "What the-"

"I just remembered that when I found the book, it had been night and I had been wandering about in the house with all the lights out! And I also read the book in the darkness! I must have been really confused not to realize that it should have been impossible to read anything under these circumstances."

Turning her attention to the book again, Dawn saw that there were, in fact, letters visible now. The book had been written in a beautiful, looping hand-writing. The text cast so much light into the room that Dawn could see Ken' face again. He looked as fascinated as she felt, and quickly sat down next to her. 

None of the two uttered a word during the next minutes. Dawn realized that they must be reading in sync - every time Ken wanted to turn the page and asked with a questioning glance if she was done with it, too, she just nodded almost imperceptibly. 

The whole book was actually a diary. The author had written down all his experiences very minutely, it seemed. Not all of it was useful information, but some of it made Dawn catch her breath. 

**_Day 145 of the great war in the 31st year after the foundation of Pacantia_**

_There must be a way to put an end to this slaughtering. I estimate that we have already lost a third of the town's population. It reeks of deatheverywhere; the humans who are courageous enough to remove the bodies from the streets have more work to do every day. Some of the demons actually help them, but it is rare to find different races together in these days, except in a fight, of course. I am weary and have to finish my report now; my last candle has just burned down._

Day 151 

_I went out briefly today to find something to eat. My efforts were not rewarded, though. If I can muster the strength, I will try again tomorrow. I feel ashamed to complain about my hunger when I think of all the children I saw on my quest for food. Some of them are so weak that they crawl rather than walk, in spite of having long outgrown their crawling stage. If things continue like this, there will soon be more people dying of starvation than of fatal wounds._

The next dozen entries consisted pretty much of further details about the horrible situation in Pacantia. Dawn was glad that Ken had obviously decided to skip them. Together they browsed the book and looked for an entry that might indicate that the situation had changed for the better. One entry caught their eyes because the hand-writing had suddenly become very sloppy, as if the author had been very frightened and nervous.

Day 170 

_I have lost hope that this havoc will end someday. This will be my last report of the circumstances in which we find ourselves trapped in, for this is the last of my ink. If the Powers That Be do not send us a miracle soon, we all will be sure to perish. _

The last few words were so faded that they were hardly readable at all. The writer had probably tried to stretch the ink with water. However, he must have run out of ink even before the last sentence; it looked as if it had only been scratched into the paper by the quill, without any ink. 

Dawn looked at Ken, trying to gauge his emotions. But his expression reflected hers, they were both very tense and dying to know what the next pages would be like.

Surprisingly, the next entries were perfectly readable and written very carefully and beautifully. 

"This must be it! This is when 'he' must have arrived!" Dawn whispered excitedly.

But Ken was already immersed in the lecture of the entry. Dawn wondered why Ken was as keen on reading the book as she was; after all, he had had memorised enough of it to recount roughly what had happened 100 years ago. _There's something he's not telling me about that mysterious day when he found the book_, she thought. _But he's got no idea who he's dealing with_, she added mentally. 

_And neither do I. _

~*~

When Dawn regained consciousness, she was at first aware of the uncomfortable position she was in. She still sat on her chair, her arms dangling heavily at her sides. When she tried to raise her head from where it lay on the table, something stuck to her cheek. Sleepily, she removed it and saw that it was the notepad where she had written down the facts from the book that had seemed important to her. 

Looking up, she noticed Ken at her side, fast asleep. He had spread one arm on the table and rested his head on it. His nose was still buried in the open book, as if he had been reading in it until the very last moment before sleep had overtaken him. Dawn realized suddenly that there was something wrong with the picture; there hadn't been any colours in the book before… And then she knew what it was.

"Ken," she said urgently, but still in a whisper. She didn't dare yell at him to wake up; given the evidence on the book, being brutally dragged out of his dreams could perhaps harm him further. Nevertheless, he absolutely had to remove his head from where it lay.

She shook him lightly until he moaned sleepily. "Come on, sleepyhead, wake up!" She had to speed things up or else they would both be sorry. "Ken, you're bleeding on the book!"

Tbc


	6. 6

Title: Utopia found and lost 6/?

Author: Hendiadys (hendiadys146@yahoo.com)

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: We don't own anything except a crappy computer and a weird fantasy

Spoilers: For all seasons; the story starts right at the end of Chosen

Summary: Dawn and Spike share a common destiny. 

Feedback: Always appreciated! 

Special thanks: To our beta Hazmat 

A/N: Thanks to Claire Starling for your kind review. I hope you'll like this part, too.

Chapter 6

It was past midnight when they passed the gates of Pacantia. Spike regretted that he couldn't see his surroundings very well due to the darkness. But as soon as they entered the town, small lamps seemed to have lit themselves and Spike looked around in awe.

There were huge beautiful trees and wonderful flowers everywhere, a small fountain was quietly burbling and he was instantly reminded of his thirst, but he didn't care. Never had he seen such a lovely place before. When he looked straight ahead, he could see the first houses looming in the distance, all painted in bright, friendly colours and with little front gardens. 

"Do you like it?" Archie asked serenely. "Tonight we'll stay at the Blooming Calas, it's an inn fifteen minutes from here, where we can rest and talk."

_Talk. Can I tell them everything that has happened to me? Okay, they've been quite friendly to me, but who knows what they are really like, and Richard still looks rather dangerous. And what kind of demon has a name like 'Richard' anyway? _Spike could imagine people calling their teddy bears or pets 'Richard', but 'Richard, the scaly, hideous demon' sounded plainly wrong.

Spike shook his thoughts off and reminded himself that they didn't carry any weapons. And anyway, if they had wanted to kill him, they could have done it as soon as they had seen him. He merely nodded and kept on following the gang of humans and demons.

It wasn't hard to see which house the Blooming Calas was, since there was a huge wooden sign that was intricately adorned with beautiful flowers and winding letters.  When Kevin knocked, a friendly-looking woman with dark hair opened the door and greeted them with a smile. "Come on in! There still has to be some food in the kitchen," she said, letting them all come in when she hurried into the kitchen. Spike wondered if the woman already knew his entourage or if all people here were that nice, but when he heard the word "food", he didn't think about anything else.

The four newcomers took their seats at a round wooden table near the window, looking exhausted and hungry. The dark haired woman returned again, carrying four jugs of what looked like beer on a tray and some slices of bread in a small basket. "I'll get you more immediately, I just have to warm everything up!" The only response she got were the noises of drinking and the devouring of bread, when they all tucked in. It was funny to see the two demons eat, especially Sammy with his tentacles around his mouth, but of course Spike remained silent. Another funny thing was that he already felt no more hunger, being satisfied merely by bread and beer. He didn't miss the blood.

When they had finished, Archie belched and looked at Spike rather curiously. 

_Here it comes._

"Now that we are all full and happy, we'd like to know how you've come here."

"Er,… to be honest, I don't know myself. The only thing I know is that this isn't the place where I used to be." Spike was well aware that this sounded stupid. The others didn't interrupt him, but stared at him peculiarly. Spike wished he knew what to say. But what good was it to lie to them?

"Okay, first up: I come from a world where demons and vampires aren't much accepted by humans. Well, admittedly, they are hunted and killed."

Richard and Sammy made outraged and protesting noises, but Kevin motioned to them to remain quiet. "I'm sure you won't believe me now, but I used to be a vampire myself. And now I'm not, and I really don't know why. Against my true demon nature, I helped the Slayer - that's the girl that fights evil demons and other nasties - and her friends, which is really a long story, and by doing so, I was killed and ended up with the Oracles."

He paused and took a look around at their dumbfounded and quizzical faces.

"Why did you help a girl that kills demons?" Sammy asked, not without distrust. 

"As I said, that's a long story and rather intimate," Spike responded.

"Oooh, intimate…..I think I understand now," drawled Kevin. 

Archie rolled his eyes. "What did these Oracles say to you?" 

"They said something about a new life that is given to me, a life that I have once lead. I guess they didn't lie to me about that…"

Archie looked thoughtful. "Very interesting. But I don't know what this could mean. But I do know someone who might be able to help you there."

Spike merely stared at him expectantly. 

"You see, there's a man in Pacantia who is considered to be a wise man. Nobody still alive remembers his real name; he goes by 'Shaman' nowadays. He's a very talented healer and his advice is said to be always very helpful and his predictions accurate," Archie replied to Spike's unuttered question.

Spike, however, didn't look impressed. "But how can this medicine man of yours help me with this bloody prophecy?" The others stared incredulously at him, unable to believe that a newcomer would dare to be so disrespectful. Seeing their expressions, Spike conceded, "I'm not saying this shaman-stuff is a load of rubbish. Believe me, I've had my share of experiences with all kinds of mojo and I know that it exists. But I've learned with the years that it never really turns out the way it should. People rarely use magic to help others, but rather for their own profit," he added sheepishly, memories of the ritual to restore Drusilla's health surging up in his mind. 

Archie still looked a bit offended at Spike's outburst and his politeness sounded somewhat forced when he said, "Shaman had already been head of the Town Council when I was born and still is, even if only unofficially. With his help, many riots and small rebellions in Pacantia have been quelled and he has always contributed to the fact that life is uniquely peaceful in this town. Furthermore," he added with a glance at his brother, "he's our ancestor."

That last statement made Spike want to bang his head against the nearest wall. _I really put my foot in it this time_, he thought_. I should know better than to speak my mind openly with people I hardly know_. Then he reconsidered. _Hell, no, I don't know better! I've never been the type to think before I speak!_

"I'm sorry," he said in an apologetic tone which sounded strange to his own ears. "Like I've told you before, I'm not exactly the expert when it comes to polite conversation between humans. My human life ended more than a century ago." He looked at Sammy and Richard, hoping for solidarity. 

With a look of pity for Spike on his face, Richard addressed Archie. "Don't be too hard on him, mate – he's probably too tired to think clearly." Spike nodded in assent, then realized how stupid that must look, and contented himself with listening to what else the demon had to say to Spike's defence. He felt just a little bit ashamed for having made fun of poor Richard a while ago. _That big bloke turns out to be alright after all_, he admitted to himself.

"And I don't have to remind you," Richard continued, "that some of us don't trust Shaman the way you and Kevin do. There's been a whole lot of suspicions concerning him in the last few years…"

Archie interrupted him, furiously. "How dare you? If it weren't for Shaman, the five of us wouldn't sit at this table now, eating and drinking peacefully. And you," he seethed, pointing at both of the demons, "wouldn't even be allowed to crawl out of your holes during daytime!"

He was obviously about to add even more insults to his tirade, but Sammy prevented him from doing so by standing up and slamming his enormous fist on the table, making it shake. "That's enough!" he roared. And, without a word, he stormed out of the inn. After a last furious and disappointed look at Archie, Richard followed him. 

"What was that all about?" Spike asked, confused.

Archie was still so angry that he couldn't seem to answer. In his stead, Kevin said, "I suggest we all go to sleep now." His determined voice kept Spike from making further inquiries. 

After the two men had left the inn, the dark-haired woman – who was actually the landlady and told Spike her name was Agatha – led him to a small, but comfortable looking room. As soon as Agatha had shut the door behind herself, Spike launched himself onto the spacious bed and fell asleep shortly after.

~*~

Finally, Dawn managed to shake Ken awake. "What? What's the… Oh no!" He lifted his head and took a handkerchief out of his pocket to wipe away the almost dried blood from his face.

"Why were you bleeding? Does this happen to you often? Ken, you smudged the book!" Dawn said hysterically, which earned her a pretty angry look from Ken. 

"Do you think I wanted that to happen? And, no, I usually don't bleed when I fall asleep on a book, thanks for your concern!" he spat.

Dawn's brows furrowed. Didn't he understand that this book was the only chance to get information about former events? And it was no good when the entries couldn't be deciphered anymore. But she knew that it was unfair to hold something against him that he had absolutely no control over. She took a deep breath to calm herself. "I'm sorry, are you hurt?"

Meeting her eyes, he saw genuine concern in them and he felt his anger subside. "No, I'm fine." He got up and went into the bathroom to wipe off the rest of the blood, leaving Dawn alone.

She picked up her notepad again and studied it thoughtfully. _At first, the never ending war; many creatures and people were killed… then the change, because of 'him'… the inhabitants seemed to live their lives in peace again; nobody remembered the events except the author of this book…The book!_

Leaning over the table, she retrieved the volume carefully and stared in shock at the pages.

There was no blood on them. 

She leafed through the book over and over again, but there was no evidence that there had ever been blood on the pages, no traces or smears. Dawn couldn't believe her eyes. _That's impossible! _"Ken! Ken, I need to show you something, hurry!" Dawn called.

He was there in an instant. "What's the matter?" he asked. She showed him the now clean book. "At first I start to bleed for no real reason at all and now it has all vanished!

Dawn, I think it'd be best if we don't touch it anymore. You can't be sure what other effects it might have," he said in a lowered and strange voice; it was a voice of foreboding she was inexplicably familiar with. At any rate he had a point. Ancient books like this one could be enchanted in some way.

"Do you think it is enchanted?" she said aloud, revealing her thoughts. "I don't know 

much about magic, but I believe it exists. I can't really explain…"

"Magic does exist, or how do you reckon 'he' managed to change everything from carnage to peace? But talking about magic, there is someone who is said to have magical abilities. His name is Shaman. It's hard to get to speak to him, so I've heard at least. But we can try, right?"

Dawn nodded. Again she felt a strong feeling of gratitude surging up in herself; gratitude not only for having met Ken, who was willing to help her although he didn't know much about her, but rather gratitude for some kind of higher power which had led her to him. As she still seemed to suffer from amnesia and couldn't rely on her knowledge and experience to make decisions, she had so far judged the situation by some sort of gut feeling. And it seemed that these decisions had been right until now – that couldn't be a coincidence. If someone had asked Dawn to explain this gut feeling, she couldn't have answered. It just felt like… destiny. 

Tbc…

Please review and tell us what you think! 

And just a quick poll: Would you prefer Spike and Dawn to become involved romantically later on or to stay friends? We haven't made up our minds about that yet.


	7. 7

Disclaimer: We don't own Dawn and Spike, but Ken and Shaman are massaging our feet at the moment. 

A/N: Thanks to our reviewers! And it looks like you'll be getting your Spawn-y wish… in about 2 or 3 chapters. Please don't get too impatient, their reunion will definitely be worth the long wait, promise!

Chapter 7 

Spike awoke for the first time in over a century because the sun was shining straight into his face, tickling his nose. Yawning and stretching with relish, he took a moment just to think about that fact. Everything had been very confusing since he had found himself in that strange chamber with the Oracles, and this beautiful morning seemed to be the first thing in his new existence that really felt right. 

After he had showered, he went down to the room where he had had dinner with Archie and the others the evening before. Agatha served him breakfast, which he enjoyed immensely, and when she came back to clear the table, he asked her to sit down for a moment. 

"Can I do anything else for you, dear?" Agatha asked kindly.

Spike hesitated, but then answered, "Yes, you can, in fact. I've been trying to find out more about this place since I met Archie and the rest in the woods, and nobody's really willing to tell me anything useful. And the strange fight last night doesn't make sense either."

Agatha looked at him very intensely, as if trying to gauge his capability of dealing with the information she could provide. Finally, she sighed. "I'm not reluctant to give you answers because I know you need to hear them." Spike's expression turned quizzical. _What does she mean by this? _But Agatha continued with a sigh, "I blame it on Archie; he should have been the one to tell you. He's a good man, really, but sometimes his temper gets the better of him. He would have told you the version of the story that most people believe. But perhaps you were meant to hear the true history of Pacantia now." She took a deep breath. "The town was founded about 130 years ago by a married couple. They both had a vision: to create a place where all sorts of creatures could live together peacefully; some kind of multicultural community, if you want. Their vision was not unrelated to their own situation. The man – his name was Mendareth – was human, but his wife, Askaria, was a justice demon."

"Wait a moment, isn't the term 'justice demon' just a euphemism for 'vengeance demon'?"

"Why, yes, the terms refer to the same kind of demon. You won't really understand until I've reached the end of my narration. For now, you just have to accept the fact that we avoid using derogatory terms for our fellow citizens. And though I'm referring to them as 'demons' now, it would be very insulting to address someone as such."

Spike was reeling from all this new information. Then he remembered something. "I had two friends who were exactly in the same situation," he said, sounding sad and a little bit wistful, but at the same time marvelling at the fact that he thought of Xander and Anya as friends. _Whatever happened between us, at the moment I'd be happy to talk to one of them._

"Did you now?" said Agatha with a strangely knowing smile. But Spike didn't have time to wonder about it because she continued, "When Pacantia was attracting more and more people from all over the country just a few years later, Mendareth's and Askaria's wish seemed fulfilled. But about thirty years after the foundation, the tension that had always prevailed between the inhabitants suddenly erupted into an unbelievably cruel and fierce war…"

~*~ 

After having had a plain but sumptuous breakfast the next morning, Dawn and Ken decided to go to Shaman's Mansion to try to speak to him. They got ready and left the house, full of hope and excitement.

The air was fresh and chilly, though the sun was already up, and Dawn wrapped the jacket Ken had given her more tightly around her. He himself wore a black woollen cloak that stood in harsh contrast to his very pale complexion.

Pacantia was even more beautiful to look at when it was early and the streets were deserted. Peace and contentment seemed to linger on the whole town, which made Dawn wonder whether she had ever felt such an amazing atmosphere before. 

Hearing Ken's voice, she snapped out of her reverie. "You know, it's better to go there when it's early. Later, when we go back home, there'll be a crowd, eager to get inside. There are always people who need advice or help, even in Pacantia."

"Does he ask for any kind of payment for his work? Because there's nothing I could give him…," Dawn said, feeling slightly stupid for having to depend entirely on Ken. Eventually, she would have to return his kindness and helpfulness. But how, she did not know yet.

"Don't worry about that," he tried to soothe her and smiled, pointing at the backpack he was carrying. "I've brought some things that might make him more susceptible for our request."

It took them about half an hour to reach Shaman's Mansion the sight of which took Dawn's breath away. The building was surrounded by four turrets that seemed to scrape the slowly gathering clouds. The entire façade was made of dark, violet stone, now enlightened by the morning sun. Huge trees were planted on either side of the Mansion as well as miscellaneous flowers and bushes, giving the whole building a friendly atmosphere. Dawn saw that the entryway led to a court, where some people were already walking around. Two guards stood at the entrance, which disrupted the whole concept of peacefulness. _Why are there guards when all the inhabitants apparently lived together peacefully? This Shaman really seems to be a big wig, having guards in_ this _town._

Ken saw her astonished expression. "Amazing, isn't it?" Dawn only nodded and followed her companion to one of the guards who asked in a flat, bored voice, "Do you carry any weapons or other items which might endanger Lord Shaman?"

Dawn honestly didn't envy him. _Who really enjoys standing still all day at the same place, asking the same question, when someone wants to be let in?_

"No. The only thing we carry is our hope to enter the Mansion to be heard by the Lord Shaman," Ken answered. Dawn wasn't quite sure, but the guard seemed to have rolled his eyes, probably due to Ken's stilted speech. She suppressed a giggle.

As another security check, the man retrieved some small black device from his belt and pointed it at Dawn and Ken, who both didn't know what this thing was. Out of its tip, blue light was shining on them, from head to toe. The guard seemed convinced. "You can enter."

Dawn and Ken looked at each other quizzically and went through the entryway and the court until they saw an open door with a sign, indicating that this was the hearing room.

"There we are," Ken said and entered the room, which was almost empty. There was only one other man, sitting on a wooden bench. "I guess we have to wait here a bit until Shaman receives us," Ken whispered and they both seated themselves on the bench as well, keeping a little distance between them and the other waiting man who simply looked bored.

After a while, a little man in black robes entered the waiting room and announced that it was their turn to see Shaman, which relieved both Dawn and Ken who had been lost in their own thoughts while they had had to wait. They got up and followed the little man through a hallway and finally into what looked like a royal audience chamber.

Dawn looked around and was again astonished by the beauty of this room. Turning her gaze upward, she couldn't see where the ceiling ended; it was only dark. The room itself was decorated with exotic flowers and there were pictures hanging everywhere, mostly showing wonderful landscapes. Through the vast windows, the morning light was shining, immersing Shaman's chamber in gold. 

And Shaman himself was sitting at his wide mahogany desk, on which several strange objects lay Dawn couldn't remember ever having seen before. One item looked like a crescent, another like some sort of periscope; the other things were hard to describe and Dawn wasn't sure whether she really wanted to know what they were for. The most striking object, though, was a crystal globe, cushioned by a pillow that was made of violet velvet. _Was this man a diviner or did he simply enjoy playing Harry Potter?_

_And who the hell was Harry Potter?_

Dawn didn't know why that thought had struck her, it just seemed to have popped up in her mind.

Shaman was bent over some sheets of paper and seemed to be engrossed in his studies so that he didn't notice that Dawn and Ken had entered the room until Ken apparently lost his patience and whispered to her, "You stay here, I'll talk to him first, if you don't mind."

"No, that's okay, I wouldn't know what to tell him anyway," she replied in a lowered voice.

In order to make Shaman notice their presence, he loudly cleared his throat and was successful - Shaman pried his eyes away from his documents and looked up. He had a slightly grey beard, short hair of the same colour and Ken could see that he was clad in a shimmering dark blue fabric. 

Shaman scrutinized Ken, who had walked up to his desk, with a piercing gaze, making him feel uncomfortable and bare; other than that, he had a flat expression and seemed to be waiting for Ken to say something.

"Er, I am Kenneth Harrington and I am here because I seek your advice, for I was told that you were the only one who can answer my questions."

"There you are right, Kenneth Harrington." Something about the way Shaman pronounced Ken's name in his low voice was weird. Ken got the impression that Shaman knew more about him than he was willing to admit, but of course, the younger man didn't say anything about it.

"What," Shaman continued, "are your questions?"

As a consequence, Ken turned around and motioned to Dawn to come nearer, which she did. But before Ken could say anything else, the crystal globe on Shaman's desk began to glow. The closer Dawn came, the stronger it glowed, radiating a blue light around the room. Ken and Dawn didn't dare move and remained where they were.

Shaman abruptly got up, eyeing the globe closely with furrowed eyebrows. _Could it be her?_

He turned his gaze toward Dawn, who slowly began to feel panicked, not knowing what to do, or why the globe had started to glow.

"GUARDS!" Shaman roared. But before the two guards came in, his hands seemed to be engulfed by crackling, red energy, getting stronger and more blinding. Ken and Dawn backed away, bur it was no good. Shaman lifted his hands and pointed them directly at the friends, shooting two bolts of light at their bodies, which were rigid with fear.

Everything went black.

~*~ 

When Agatha had finally stopped talking, she looked at Spike pitifully. "That's quite a lot to process, isn't it? I'll make us some coffee, perhaps that will cheer you up a little bit," she said and disappeared into the kitchen.

When she came back, she was carrying a tray with a steaming pot of coffee, two mugs and – a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. 

"How did you know I smoked?" asked Spike in amazement, taking the proffered cigarettes and lighting one.

As if he hadn't spoken, Agatha said with a smile, "You know, you should really consider cutting back on smoking. Now that you're not immortal anymore, these things can quite literally kill you." 

"Okay, now I've really reached the end of my bloody tether! I never told you I smoked, nor that I was immortal once. And all of you seem to accept my not so detailed story about how I ended up here."

Agatha was still smiling softly and laid a hand on Spike's. "That's because we already know the details, dear."

Spike was really getting angry now. Being angry seemed to feel different than before, too: He felt the blood rising into his face, the fingernails digging into his flesh in his balled fists hurt more than they used to and he couldn't seem to growl anymore to express his anger. Nevertheless, it felt good to let off some steam. "What the hell is wrong with you people? Can't anyone of you make one single remark from time to time that is NOT cryptic?"

Taking one of his hands in hers, Agatha replied soothingly, "I'm sorry, William, to have caused you distress. I didn't mean to do that. It's just that I'm so glad you finally arrived; and if I tell you everything I know, you will have to leave very soon. I just wanted to enjoy your company for a while. Now, drink your coffee and let me tell you something about Pacantia's lore…"

Tbc


	8. 8

A/N: Thanks again to those who reviewed, especially to Claire Starling, who's the most supportive reader one could wish for! 

Finally, the mysterious history of Pacantia is revealed, and things should get a little less confusing for you guys … enjoy!

Chapter 8

Spike was running. The coat Agatha had supplied for him billowing behind him, his feet were hitting the pavement in very quick succession, the sound echoing in the narrow alley he was passing through at that moment. In the quiet morning atmosphere, the rhythm of his feet and his own laboured breathing seemed very loud to his own ears. Sweat was running down his face and he had a stitch in his side. But he didn't care. There was just one thought, one wish coursing through his veins straight into his heart, making it hurt in a new and strange way, different from all the various heartaches he'd had before: Save Dawn – again.

~*~

"You're surely wondering why the people who know what really happened in Pacantia a century ago don't try to flee or rebel against their fate, or give up hope to be freed one day. Well, although there's only few of us, the belief in the coming of a saviour has given us the necessary strength to continue living under the tyranny of Shaman. Who is this saviour, you ask? Didn't you figure it out yet? Well, dear, it's you. Or rather, you're one half of it. No, I don't know if your counterpart has arrived here yet or who he or she actually is. While we have quite a lot of information about your past – and that's why I knew, for instance, that you smoked – there's almost nothing in our lore about the other half of Pacantia's saviour. Only one single sentence has been handed down through the generations that refers to it: 'His power is like a treasure that has yet to be unlocked by a key.' William, dear, what's wrong?"

~*~

He had known at once. One word had sufficed to give him an explanation for everything that had been going on since his second death. Now all the pieces were gradually falling into place. _You will find your counterpart_, the Oracles had said. He had completely neglected this part of the prophecy until now. 

He didn't know if it happened because of the shock caused by this huge epiphany, or for other more mystical reasons, but as soon as Agatha had uttered her revelation, he had had some sort of seizure. He'd dropped down to the floor, clutching his head in his hands as a wave of acute pain, the like of which he'd never experienced before, not even remotely comparable to the torture of the chip, had flooded his brain, causing his muscles to twitch uncontrollably. Then, all of a sudden, he'd relaxed, the pain having receded to a more tolerable dull ache, and in his mind's eye there'd been a brief, but very intense flash of a horrible scene: A tall man in blue robes, shooting two jets of light at a younger man and – Dawn.

Although he'd never had a vision before, he'd felt at once that this must have been one. Everything afterwards passed in a blur because of the lingering pain in his head; he remembered that Agatha had been worried sick because of his seizure, and had tried to get him to lie down. But he'd refused stubbornly and had left the inn in a hurry.

~*~

The stitch in his side was slowly becoming unbearable. For the first time since he'd become human, he wished for some of his supernatural strength and stamina to come back. But the thought of Dawn being in danger kept him going. He didn't even need to pause to think about where he was heading because his feet seemed to know the way. It was as if he was pulled by invisible strings; he felt that even if he wanted to stop running, he couldn't have. 

After what seemed an eternity, he spotted a huge building in the distance. Finally, he had reached his destination: Shaman's Mansion. 

_And now I'm going to kill this bastard and rip him to pieces._

_~*~_

When Dawn awoke, the only thing she remembered at first was the sudden pain, caused by what had seemed like a bolt of lightning. Slowly she opened her weary eyes.

After her blurred vision had cleared, she realized that she was in a dungeon. Dark and dank, like a medieval prison. Metal bars separated her from the hallway and she could see that there were further cells, but apparently there were no other prisoners.

Turning her head, she saw Ken lying on his back on the cold stone floor, his head pillowed on his bag, unmoving. He looked very worn out and pale and Dawn feared the worst.

Panicked, she got up and knelt beside him, hoping that he was all right. Very gently, she laid a hand on his shoulder and called his name, but he didn't seem to hear her.

_Oh God, please, let him wake up!_

As though her hurried prayer had been answered, Ken stirred, furrowing his brows and moaning something unintelligible, but that was enough for Dawn to feel relieved.

Once again, she addressed him.

"Ken, oh my God, Ken, can you hear me? It's alright, you're gonna be okay!" she tried to soothe him, although she wasn't sure at all whether that was true or not.

Finally, he opened his eyes. Seeing Dawn's pretty face and realizing that she wasn't dead, he feebly smiled. In this particular moment, it seemed to be the most beautiful smile Dawn had ever seen.

"Joan, you're okay, thank God," he whispered. Dawn returned his smile, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill out. Ken was about to get up, but Dawn gently pushed him back. "You better stay put, maybe you're hurt worse than meets the eye." He nodded and reached for her hand, squeezing it with a small amount of pressure. His hand was ice cold, making Dawn shudder.

"Joan, I couldn't have borne the thought of losing you. I know I've known you only for a short time, but…" Seeing Dawn's shocked face, he faltered. "I didn't mean to rush you…"

"No, silly, your nose has started bleeding again!" Confused, Ken touched his nose with his fingertips. They came away bloody.

Looking at him hard, the bag under his head suddenly struck her eyes. She narrowed them in suspicion. "Ken, what's in that bag?"

Dawn's reproachful tone bewildered him, when slowly realization dawned. _She knows about the book._

As though his thoughts had betrayed him, she already knew the answer to her question. But she had another one. "Why did you bring it with you? You know what happened the last time your head was near that stupid book! Do you want to die?!" Dawn realized that she wasn't making sense, but Ken's carelessness made her furious. She yanked his bag away from him and opened it forcefully, tossing the big volume into a corner, where it landed with a thud.

But before Ken had the chance to react to Dawn's wrath, they heard a door creak at the end of the hallway and approaching footsteps. Immediately, she positioned herself in front of the book in order to hide it with her body.

Then, looking up, the two prisoners saw the tall man who had inflicted pain on them without mercy.

"Well, well, are we awake now…" Shaman drawled.

~*~

He looked complacently down onto Dawn and Ken, who didn't know what to say. "I reckon you wonder why I didn't kill you at once." Without waiting for a reply, he continued. "The truth is, you are much more useful alive."

Dawn and Ken looked at each other quizzically.

"You will live in Pacantia the way everyone else lives here - peacefully and without the slightest idea why all the different creatures are getting along so well."

At last, Ken found his voice again. "Why? How…how do you…"

"Since you won't remember anything as soon as I'm done with you anyway, I will tell you my story.

"Over a hundred years ago, demons and humans were living together, but not as peacefully as they are now. Then I got married to Askaria, a vengeance demon who I loved despite knowing what she was. We decided that all the miscellaneous races and peoples ought to live together without disturbances and riots, ignoring the differences of all the kinds that existed there. I already was a powerful wizard, so I was able to found Pacantia with my wife. 

"For a certain time, everything went the way we had planned it, but my spell must have had flaws, for soon a great war started. A war between demons and humans. A war that never should have happened. I could have redone the spell, if my wife hadn't betrayed like the two-faced harlot that she is. She left me to fight on the side of the demons and the only thing I could think of was revenge. 

"I didn't want anyone to know how I've changed my plans. Since I couldn't bear what she had done to me and what had become of my dream of Pacantia, I cursed them all with oblivion and transferred the town to another dimension, where I could start again. 

A new and what seemed flawless Pacantia was born. My dream has at last come true, and I can control every inhabitant with the new spell I created. Never will they try to escape from this peaceful place, for I have created a perfect town and everyone complies to me, as they don't have their own free will and are not aware of it. But my revenge isn't fulfilled yet and my personal Utopia will persist as long as I wish."

After hearing what Shaman had just told them, Dawn could almost fathom why he had done that. He had been betrayed, left and hurt, but that definitely didn't justify his deeds. Ken, though, looked aggravatedly at Shaman.

"How can you be so naive to believe that this would work? You're manipulating every Pacantian, robbing their free will, and all that because your wife had betrayed you?

You're pathetic!" Ken spat.

"We will see who is pathetic, when you don't remember anymore what has happened," Shaman replied coldly. "I will start with the young lady who is capable to destroy what I have created."

Dawn's brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

But she never got an answer. Shaman lifted his right hand, smiling cruelly. Once again, his fingers were surrounded by crackling energy that illuminated the dark cell. "Oh no, please…" Ken tried to get up to protect Dawn, but he was too weak and the effort was too much.

Dawn backed further away into the corner, not breaking eye contact with Shaman, when she could feel the book with her fingertips. Ready for what was to come, she tightened her grip on the leather cover.

Just as Shaman shot a bolt of lightning in her direction, she lifted the volume and held it poised in front of her head, where the energy penetrated first the book and then her head.

But she didn't faint like the last time. In the background she could hear Shaman's curses and Ken's pleadings to stop.

Suddenly, her head began to spin. Random images flashed by in her mind's eye, images that she slowly seemed to recognize. The young blonde woman from her dream, ramming a wooden stick into a monster that exploded into dust. A man with shocking white-blonde hair and a leather duster, fighting against other demons. A red-headed girl that let things float in front of her, smiling sweetly. Another man with brown hair, holding a pretty woman in his arms and looking pleased. _Dawn, we are going to get married!!_

Dawn. She wasn't Joan. Her name was Dawn. Slowly, she remembered all the names of the people that she had just seen in her vision.

Bang!

The door to the dungeon was flung open again, but far more violently than before. A man with a determined and furious face came striding swiftly toward them.

"Spike!" Dawn exclaimed. Spike turned his head and, in spite of the vision he had had, could barely believe his eyes.

Tbc....

Next time: Finally, our two heroes are united again… or are they?


	9. 9

Thanks again to the reviewers! It's so encouraging to see that some people really like this fic. I guess we've reached the climax in this chapter, at least concerning the plot. But there's still a lot to sort out between Dawn and Spike… Perhaps in the sequel?  
  
Chapter 9  
  
Relief flooded Spike when he heard Dawn shout his name and he had to smile although the situation was anything but pleasant. It took a moment for him to register that Dawn was being hit by what looked like gigantic rays of light. And, what was odd, that she still managed to smile back at him. The rays had burned a huge hole in the book with which she had presumably tried to protect herself and which she still held uselessly in both hands. As she had her head turned toward him, her right cheek was illuminated by the blinding light.  
  
The very sight of Dawn, looking vaguely angelic and also eerily powerful, made Spike catch his breath for one short moment. He had to shake himself mentally in order to refocus on the situation. What was it I came here for? Right, kill Shaman, save Dawn.  
  
But then he realised that Dawn didn't actually need saving. The power that he had noticed radiating from her seemed to increase by the minute, making her smile more brightly and self-confidently. Instead of pleading Spike with her eyes to help her, she jerked her chin almost imperceptibly towards one corner of the cell, where the young man Spike had seen in his vision lay, unmoving. Spike got her message instantly: Take care of him, I can manage this on my own.  
  
Obviously, she felt something change within her because she suddenly turned her head back to her attacker. Her smile faltered, leaving a determined and slightly scary expression on her face. The bolts of lightning that shot out of Shaman's hands now hit her fully on the forehead and she struggled against them, as if they'd knock her down otherwise.   
  
Having noticed the intruder, Shaman obviously decided that he'd better take care of him first, before focussing on killing Dawn. With visible effort, he tried to point his hands at Spike, but didn't manage to move them at all. It was as if Dawn willed the connection between herself and Shaman to continue.  
  
Shaman, who now looked confused and not a little frightened, cursed and seemed to redouble his efforts. "I don't know what kind of trick this is, you little bitch, but do you really think you can withstand my power for long?" He gave a short bark of laughter, but it didn't sound as evil and arrogant as he had intended it to be, due to his mounting nervousness. "You were foolish enough to bring that damned book into my reach; now that it is destroyed, the last evidence for the occurrences of a century ago is destroyed with it."  
  
"No, you smug bastard! There's still Agatha! And loads of other people! Half of Pacantia knows the truth," Spike yelled, who had propped Ken against the nearest wall and was torn between his unspoken promise to help Ken, and the urgent desire to get to Dawn and fight at her side.   
  
This time, Shaman's laughter was genuinely condescending and made Spike want to beat him to a bloody pulp right now, just to shut him up. "That poor creature and her little club of rebels?" At Spike's astonished look, he continued, "What, did you think I did not know about them? They are like irksome gnats; annoying, but easy to kill. They could not have caused any serious damage to me anyway. But rest assured, I will deal with Agatha as soon as I am done with you, just like I dealt with her grandfather, who forfeited his life when he wrote this diary."  
  
Before Spike could process what Shaman had said, he heard Dawn begin to pant. Her face was screwed up in concentration, and beads of sweat had formed along her hairline. With a last look at Ken, who was so pale that the small rivulet of deep red blood that still ran from his nose stood in a harsh contrast to the rest of his face, Spike knew what he had to do. It was not a conscious decision at all that he made in that moment, but he felt such a strong attraction emanating from Dawn, such a strong urge to be as near to her as possible, that he took the few steps that separated them and grasped both of her hands.   
  
When their hands made contact, it felt like an electric shock, if electric shocks were a mixture of pain and pleasure that surpassed everything that Spike had ever experienced. The only thing he could vaguely compare to it was the feeling he'd had when he'd got his soul. But this felt like pure power, and as an ex-vampire, Spike knew what it was like to feel strong, powerful, invincible. This was beyond every sensation he ever could have imagined.   
  
Looking at Dawn, Spike knew that she felt exactly the same way.   
  
Simultaneously, they closed their eyes, letting the energy that had all of a sudden surrounded both their bodies course through them. Due to their linked hands some part of Dawn's essence moved on to Spike and the other way around. There was a brief thought flashing in Dawn's mind: If I lose some essential part of me, I really shouldn't feel so... complete. Unbeknownst to her, Spike asked himself almost the same thing.  
  
They were one.  
  
Two pieces of a whole, united after what - in retrospect - seemed like an eternity of being separated. With their energies mingling, they felt strength and courage gradually rise in them, growing to an all-consuming force the likes of which neither of them had ever known.  
  
After a short while, Dawn and Spike reached the summit of their combined powers and a shock wave began to radiate from their midst, seizing first Shaman and Ken and then spreading out in circles which grew wider and wider.  
  
Both men were knocked to the ground, as well as everyone who got hit by the shock wave, which still hadn't stopped progressing. For a split second, one by one, they were illuminated by white, blinding light.   
  
When the wave reached the invisible barrier that cut off the town from its environment, the wall which had confined the Pacantians for so long to their imprisonment without their knowledge seemed to stir, as though the very air had started to move. If someone from the outside had watched the magical dome which covered Pacantia, it would have seemed to that person like a bubble that was about to pop.  
  
People were gazing upwards with unbelieving, terrified faces. It was hard for them to comprehend such an event, when their peace had never been disrupted before.  
  
The change caused by the joining of Dawn's and Spike's powers was obvious: One could clearly see proof of it in the expression of all Pacantians. The terror at the shock wave gradually gave way to a look of dawning comprehension, followed by disgust at being betrayed.  
  
It was as if a curtain had been lifted, when the people looked around. The now visible barriers crumbled and slowly dissolved, leaving them with a feeling that was completely new to most of them: liberty. A liberty that was not only a physical freedom, because they were now free to depart from their former prison if they chose to. But it also gave them back their free will and memory.  
  
Although the inhabitants of Pacantia knew that they had been blinded and fooled for decades, they felt pure joy at being released and freed. One by one, they got up and looked at each other, trying to find out whether the other people had experienced the same.  
  
When it had finally sunk in that all of them had witnessed that strange event, they knew they could start a new life without bonds and boundaries.  
  
Back at the Manor, Dawn and Spike collapsed and fell to the ground, exhausted but still conscious. Their hands were still linked, neither of them daring to break the connection.  
  
"What have we done?" Dawn asked with a feeble, strained voice. Realising that she was currently speaking to Spike who wasn't supposed to be here at all gave her new strength and she screwed up her face in bewilderment and just glared at him.   
  
He seemed to understand her confusion. "Dawn, I know what you must be thinking. I don't fully get it myself, but... Look, there's a prophecy and-"  
  
But she didn't let him finish. Her facial expression changed from confusion to something much more unpleasant in a heart beat. He knew that look and inwardly braced himself, expecting the tantrum she would throw when she was angry, but it wasn't as bad as he had thought. At least, Dawn remained sitting.  
  
"What?! Another prophecy? Hello, definitely not Buffy here, so why's there a frigging prophecy about me?" Glancing at Spike, she added, "...and you." She shook her head in exasperation. "I'm sick of all that. What good is it to steal a magic book from Willow and vanishing from the spot, just to be still part of a prophecy I knew nothing about?!" Dawn hesitated and seemed to remember something. "Wait a minute. It was the spell that I cast in the woods that had brought me here. That couldn't have been a coincidence, could it? And the fact that you aren't dead but here with me-"  
  
"- was the PTB's doing, yes", Spike finished for her.  
  
Dawn rolled her eyes. "Yeah, who else could be responsible for that?" At last, she withdrew her hands from Spike's and gestured wildly around to emphasize what she meant. Spike oddly regretted that their hands weren't linked anymore. Seeing Dawn again and having the opportunity to be so close to her in order to fulfil some prophecy that had been imposed on them filled his heart with something he couldn't really explain.  
  
Dawn must've seen him frown because she stopped gesturing and now looked with concern into his blue eyes. "Are you okay? You look upset."  
  
Dawn realised that she had missed these eyes. A few years ago when she had had a crush on Spike, she used to steal a glance at him whenever she thought he wasn't looking. She could have drowned in these deep, blue pools.  
  
Spike didn't answer her and for a certain time, neither of them spoke a word, not breaking eye contact. Finally, Spike got up and held out a hand to Dawn to help her up, which she gratefully took since she didn't fully trust her weak legs. Slowly, he let go off her small hand and willed himself not to touch her shiny hair, just the way he had done in his cave in Sunnydale when he'd tried to convince her that it hadn't been her fault that Glory had hurt Tara.  
  
Clearing his throat, he asked, "What are we supposed to do with them?" He motioned toward Shaman and Ken who were still lying on the floor, unmoving. Hearing Spike's voice, she snapped out of her reverie and made a thoughtful face. Never had she had this profound urge to embrace him. She remembered the time after Buffy's death when Spike had taken care of her and they had often hugged, trying to console each other. Then, she had desperately needed him, and now, she felt a similar desire to be as near him as possible. But she didn't need comfort or consolation now. This desire went deeper.  
  
Tbc...  
  
Please R&R! 


End file.
